By Hannah Bansen

Hire me,  

Fire me,  

Go ahead and wire me  

all of the instructions you could possibly require me  

   

to use  

not abuse  

‘cause it’s better not to lose  

all the energy and empathy you fought so hard to fuse  

   

to the rafters  

for after  

the hardest real disaster,  

B’with all the pain that I’ve been through, don’t be surprised I shatter  

   

like glass  

from a cast  

made of semi-sturdy mass,  

Though I tried so hard to leave the things that passed in the past.  

   

So I’m stretching,  

introspecting,  

feeling somewhat like a fledgling,  

gripping self-worth and emotions ’til tight insides feel like retching.  

  

Minutest.  

But not useless.  

And even though I knew this,  

Sometimes the silence shouts and then it’s all I can to do this:  

   

To breathe in,  

breathe out,  

remember what I care about,  

And after all is said and done my actions speak my whereabouts.  

(This tension 

I mention, 

it feels like an extension 

of all my uncertainty that holds me in suspension.) 

So find me,  

Remind me,  

Or watch my back behind me,  

B’no matter what you get I hope you never lose the kind me,  

   

Cuz broken,  

I’m still hopin’  

for a sign, a word, a token,  

for something straight from you that proves you didn’t stop your stokin’  

   

of my flame,  

still too tame,  

Lukewarm water’s not the same,  

But it’s not your fault, I know you gave your all. Must be my blame  

   

for my lost  

sense of cost,  

for the dreams I put on frost,  

for my withering initiative that’s bending ’til it’s crossed  

  

into space  

still outpaced,  

And I’m trying to save face,  

But I just can’t seem to ground myself or shake feeling displaced.  

  

Yet I find  

that my mind  

doesn’t always speak unblind,  

That there’s more to all this craziness that I have yet to find,  

  

And optimism,  

like a prism,  

bends the bars of this mind prison,  

So colors cut from truth light up my search for what broken isn’t.